Mindful Anger is Okay

Anger is a part of our lives. Everyone gets angry sometimes. The problem that most people have is that they aren’t always mindful about the reasons why they’re angry. That doesn’t mean that feeling anger is a bad thing. In fact, mindful anger is okay. This week, I want to talk about what I think mindful anger is, and how to approach your feelings in a more constructive way.

Mindful Anger

When someone gets angry there are many things that make it difficult to be mindful. Usually, it’s the old “heat of the moment” thing where they’re just reacting. We’ve all been there. We get into an argument with a partner, for instance and the next thing we know, the door to the bathroom is getting slammed. Trust me, been there, done that! Unfortunately, that isn’t a mindful way to express anger. It may seem healthy in that moment, but it’s just going to make things worse.

So what do I mean by mindful anger. Basically, it means that I recognize that I’m angry or upset and then try to find the root cause as to why. Here are a few ideas on how to figure that out

Ways to Figure Out The Root Cause of Your Anger And Practice Mindful Anger

  • Stop and breath-As soon as you lash out, take a moment to breathe.
  • Step away from the situation-Just excuse yourself for a few minutes so you can collect your thoughts
  • Come back when YOU feel more calm, and the person you’re upset with feels more calm. This will help facilitate the conversation and allow you BOTH to be mindful as to what made you angry.
  • Talk it out. This sounds silly to even have to say but communication truly is KEY when you’re upset with someone. That’s the only way to really understand each other. Frankly, it also builds trust and can make future issues easier to work through.
  • Finally, just remember that anger is healthy. We’re all human. We are aloud to show anger as a natural human emotion.

A piece I wrote a while back, here on the blog fits this topic perfectly. It’s all about relationship self-care and it talks about how to practice self-care in your relationships. The article isn’t long but it showcases our most common relationships. These, ironically enough are the ones that usually lead us to get upset or angry the most!

The New York Times has another great article on how to be mindful when you’re angry. Check it out here.

Well, in summation, when you’re feeling angry don’t be afraid of it. Don’t let it consume you either. The trick is to be mindful in your anger so that you can get better at handling it each time. It takes work, and you won’t always get it right, but be kind to yourself and others and it will all work itself out. Until next week, be well and namaste!

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